Last night, I rummaged the hard drive in my computer to free some space because it is constantly displayed an annoying message of running low on storage. I spent a long time stuck on the movie folder to reluctantly delete some of my most valuable collection of movies. Then I stumbled on this ‘Little Rascal’ (1994) movie. It depicts a gang consisting of ridiculous boys who share a big ‘anti-woman’ disgust.

When we were in the early age, we all have this unexplained disgust, hatred, anti- or you-name-it feeling towards the children of opposite sex. That is the main reason why the boys in the movie form a “He-Man Woman Haters Club”. To tell you upfront, I’m not going to review this movie for you instead I just want to break down some of women’s behavior that tickles or admittedly irritates me sometimes like the aforementioned boys. There’s no tendency of sexism or real mature disrespect of women whatsoever in here because I’m just capturing ordinary events through my eyes as a man or boy, if you will. I just love observing people and I tell you that women have many interesting demeanors. After all – quoting your ultimate sarcasm – boys will be boys. 😉

I’m a VVIP, you guys are just insignificant creatures

tatiana-gown-1-zOften times, in public vehicles (angkot) I see women always choose to sit at the edge of the seat near the door while the rest is vacant, blocking other passengers to come in. For Christ’s sake their destination is not that near. So what are they thinking? They supposed to think that blocking the entrance may pissed other passengers off. They might think that by sitting in that position they can easily get off when they reach their destination. Or they do that for the safety reason, since they are prone to sexual abuse. Or they indeed pictured that their destinations are a stone’s throw away. Even so, is it that hard to give others easier access to their seat? In the end, no matter where you are seated, you can always yell “Kiri bang!” and the chauffeur will kindly stop its chariot to wait for the princess to descend safely. So girls, if you are one of them, why don’t you just move that beautiful ASSet of yours and make way for others?

Hunger games

anorexia_18It’s not about Katniss Everdeen although many women aspire to be like her. It is literally hunger games. Illiterate is a term for people who can read letters, as for them I think ‘illihealth’, which I made up myself, will suit to describe women who didn’t care about their health. They skip breakfast, lunch or dinner merely because they are not hungry while their body are in dire need of nutrition. Eat is not some thing you do just because you’re hungry. It is used as a fuel to run the whole body. Your body has their own clock and it is not based on your mind which egoistically insisting of not being hungry. Just so you know that your body uses energy even when you’re sleeping, let alone working in a hectic Monday. So eat up!

Nom nom nom…

empekThis probably is the main reason of the point I previously mentioned. They just love to snacking, be it chips, fried meatball, fried fish, fried fishcake with vinegar sauce or well-known as empek empek, fried this, fried that. Any stall that offers fried and salty delicacy is always encompassed by women. So when they ate those not-so nutritious foods they skip the main course. The healthy ones. The ones that your body really need. The ones that you should have spent your money on.

Go nuts over nuts sauce

batagorYes, I should have put this in the food section above, but I take a second consideration. It is because nuts sauce is a whole different entity of the foods itself. Nut sauce is The Almighty, The Divine, The Grande, The Optimus, Alpha and Omega. They go crazy about it. Batagor, siomay, gado-gado, ketoprak, cireng, cilok, rujak and any other snack topped with nut-based sauce. It’s not wrong, at all, to eat all of those food. I like it too. It’s just the power of attraction of nut sauce that leave me in awe. When in the streets, I did some casual observations: staring at the food stalls that sell those delicacies from a distance. On average, out of 10 buyers, eight of them are women. I don’t know what the magic spell peanuts have on women’s taste bud. It’s like there’s some chemistry that attracts them to it like honey to bees.

Hourglass body

mirandaMiranda Kerr always has a perfect figure to die for. She knows how to maintain her body and I believe she has a tight exercise regime too. Women, that I know of, however, always have 99 reasons but ‘It’s easy’ ain’t one. Yes, it will never be easy. If it were easy, it wouldn’t be exercise. So they tend to skip workouts and prefer diet. Alas, the diet they’re on is totally wrong. The right diet as far as I’m concerned is to maintain healthy food intake by calculating calories or reducing protein, carbohydrates, sugar, etc. Yet diet for them is equivalent to hunger games. It’s like you’re craving for instant noodle in a lazy Sunday and had someone cooked and served it for you. That’s two instant you got there.

My point is that to get that killer body, you have to make more effort. Not just by not eating. Miranda will definitely laugh at you. Sometimes women feel hopeless because their fat seems hard to vanish even when they work hard to get in shape but hey, it’s okay. According to this source women carry more fat than men because their bodies are being prepared for childbearing. So blame it on your hormone not food. In a more convincing yet disturbing advice, this site suggests that “obsession with obesity or the need to follow deviant aesthetic fashions should not lead to the complete elimination of fat. …the almost complete disappearance of fat can lead to serious hormonal problems…”

So don’t give up too easily on the workout. It’s not about being skinny, you have to do it for the sake of a healthy body. You don’t have to be skinny. All you got to do is just be thankful you don’t have skins like snakes. 😀

In spite of all the things mentioned above, I still love them. Not all of them of course. Men always have this love-and-hate relationship with women. I can’t live without women, literally. I thank God for creating women who nurture, feed, love, text, accompany me, angry at me and share laughs with me.

I ❤ you…

That’s why I wrote this.