After several postings I wrote, I realized that I have a problem with information adequacy in my writing. I often ignore the urge that I have to do research at first before begin to write. I don’t know how to begin a sentence without being too confused with the main idea of my writing itself and losing grip in determining of how should my writing concluded. Sometimes I get cocky, pretending that I know most of anything and deny the fact that people do know much more than I do. This habit then begins to infatuate me to write a blog without further research.

I have read many good writings, but I always envy one with certain characteristic, the emotionless writing. I wish I could be honest like them in writing something. They able to let the emotion goes out on the outside and do not put it in their writing. It’s just too hard to avoid emotion to get involved in my writing. My emotion drives my style of writing and I felt that my writing is no longer pure. For all I know is when you’re writing or saying a thing there would be a part of it being repressed. You try your best to keep your emotion remain hidden, yet at the same time sometime you cannot hold it and are unable not to let it out. Sometimes it is just too hard not being subjective in writing something.

Not to mention my lacking grammar preferences. Even though I majored in English Department, I always have difficulties in writing in such proficient English. To make it worse, after I get along with friends who take Indonesia Literature for their major, I realized that I’m not good enough at my mother language as well. It is shameful. But who cares isn’t it? There are too many problems in this world which could be solved in a matter of minute by a tool which developed by human advanced civilization named computer. Nowadays, literature is not considered as important thing among other disciplines as a problem-solving tool. I may take that prejudice for granted and talk the way I want without mind the grammar. But that’s not my point, I always believe that communication which based on human language is the most lethal weapon of all.

Those considerations make me think of my next goal in my future life. I have many dreams in my life. Yes, dreams. A wise man out there said “Dreaming is the best way to picture the best of you in future”. Until now I have tried to find my potential in any field. I try the entire new thing to gain experience and enhance my skill that I thought would be useful someday. I start this blog to encourage and at the same time force me to write more. To produce a good writing someone has to read a lot. Therefore I gain two advantages by opening this blog. First I learn how to write and the second one is I am forced to read a lot. It’s fun, really. Sometimes I hate my writing, I couldn’t write as well as a good author who writes their lines cleverly. I lost confidence but then again I thought to myself, “I’m a learner right?”

My aim for several years ahead is to publish a book. Either it is a novel, illustrated novel, short-story or even a theory :D. I know that some of you wouldn’t care whether if I make it or not but `I will use this post as note to myself, so that I can make up my promise to enhance my ability in writing and produce something useful to enrich someone’s library.
I often imagine myself become a great photographer or a painter maybe.

Above all, I really want to expertise in photography, whether it is in journalism or in advertising industry. I still think that photography is useful in every aspect of human’s life. People need record of history, and it all can be captured in photograph. I don’t want to complain but my late graduation prevents me to try something new, explore any brand new ideas. Oh, I’d give everything to escape from this misery.

I swallow it all. I enjoyed my prolonged-time here every day. I see it from different perspective. Maybe my half-free time here could be spent to do something useful to broaden my knowledge. Noted that people are unable to do something they like anymore when they become a part of working society. Yes, proletariat they are. Working days and night, forget how to having a good time with friends and family, try something new without being afraid of getting fired. Somehow I sense these things would happen to me as well. Therefore here I am, enjoying every last bit of my free time by writing and doing something I might not be able to do in the future. As a proletariat 😀

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